It is the nature of occupying one role within dance that can quickly result in a certain type of tunnel vision where leaders and followers focus almost exclusively on themselves. This is not necessarily because they are selfish in terms of their personality or they want to show off their dancing skills but rather it is often the fact that the way they have learned to dance focuses on each role in isolation. I.e. attending almost any dance class for leaders usually amounts to something like “last week we learned move number 22 whereas this week we will learn move number 23” which quickly creates the perception for leaders that the more moves they do social dancing the better they are as leaders. Similarly, there is a sheer endless amount of “lady styling” classes and workshops which can certainly be a way to make any dance more challenging and aesthetic and is often something followers will approach with the same attitude as leaders looking for the next move they can learn. Maybe one of the most surprising discoveries that leaders make when starting to follow is that executing one move after another does in no way feel as good to followers as it seems and it certainly is not even half as impressive for them as leaders would like it to be. In fact a lot of the most impressive moves for leaders are actually quite boring from a followers perspective and often restricts them completely so that they can scarcely express themselves. Similarly, when followers start to lead, they discover quickly that over-styling can be a hindrance to leading which can become annoying rather than enhancing the dance.
These are just two factors that very commonly get misjudged by leaders and followers alike but there are many more examples where the perception of what a role entails or how certain moves feel the other way around is completely different than the reality. No matter how considerate one may be as a dancer this difference in perception is almost impossible to resolve from the side-lines and the only way to truly understand how to dance better with somebody is by trying out their role even just for a short while. I personally remember how I used to think that many followers would get dizzy and find the dance less enjoyable if I made them do too many turns in succession so I avoided sequences involving Vueltas, Vacilalas and Coca Colas. When I started following I was horrified to find out that Tornillos, one of my favourite category of moves, was actually much worse in many ways to most followers not because they were spinning around themselves but because they were slowly spinning around me which prevented them from spotting. It is these type of discoveries that fundamentally changed my attitude and allowed me to become a much more considerate dancer and I truly believe that anyone trying out both roles in dancing will have a similar experience.
